The good and the bad...it's all worth it!

This is more of a journal post for me and my own personal memories...

I post all these wonderful pics and post these great, happy times but I don't take the opportunity to write the not so happy times and times that are also memorable.  These kinds of things happen when Spence is around as well but because it was "more in my face" this weekend I thought I'd write about it.

This weekend has been a very interesting and fun at the same time and I want to write about it so I remember and hold myself accountable.  I love this blog because it allows me to capture and write about all these awesome pictures that I take and yes, I know I take too many but I am so grateful to be a  mom and to watch my kids grow and learn and be amazing!

This weekend, Spence went out of town for the first time for a "fun" trip since before the triplets were born and I was so so glad he could go and enjoy that time with his brother, BIL Jon and Colin.  He totally deserves it and never does anything "fun" for himself so I was in heaven knowing he was having fun.

On the other side...me and the kids had a fun Friday.  We cleaned the house, played with friends, ran errands, I made cookies for a funeral, went to Farm Country and had dinner with friends.  We had a great day!

Yesterday was a little more crazy however...and the kids were fighting a ton.  Rio was hot or cold...she is a lot of the time anyway, but yesterday, she was either happy, smiling and kind like usual OR she was hitting (which she rarely and I mean rarely ever does), screaming, throwing tantrums, talking mean or just being difficult.  Jax was whining like he was Logan's age about the silliest things, complaining, talking back, giving mean looks and not sharing anything.  Austin was actually pretty good but was arguing like he has been doing lately a whole lot!  Logan was just normal two year old Logan: loud, whining, screaming when he doesn't get his way, standing in his chair eating and spilling all over, pulling at my leg when I can't hold him, getting into every cupboard and drawer, hitting when someone took something from him and so on and so on...my little Blake was an angel as per usual because well, he is only 5 months old and doesn't require much.

The boys had a soccer game at noon so we all played outside in the morning and had lots of fun actually making paper airplanes and finding the fastest one.  Jax even said, "you're the best mom because you can make cool airplanes."  

This fun occurred however after the fighting, yelling and tears that ensued while getting ready.  The game went amazing!  Austin and Jax both did so great and they looked so confident and happy on the field.  I was really proud of them.  Rio was not happy about being there and I of course then got frustrated because I want her to understand the importance of supporting our family and showing our love for one another by being there and showing our support which of course, in her 4 year old mind sounds probably a little ridiculous.  Logan wanted to play at the playground and swing so of course he was bummed because I wanted to watch the game but then I feel horrible because my super energetic, smart and super fun two year old just wants to play and instead I'm making him tantrum and wait.  When we got back home, it was time for lunch and as per usual no one wanted the same thing so I became a short order cook suddenly which I know was my own choice but still frustrating!

I had told the boys that they could get a Frazil earlier in the day but had to get home to get Logan and Blake fed so they could take their naps.  So...I wanted to follow through and told them we could go after naps and before dinner.  The kids played a little in the afternoon after the little boys went down but Rio was on a "cold moment" and she didn't want to play with everyone and kept saying, "then I won't play with you" (a phrase I cannot stand!!)  so I was getting very frustrated with her and tried to color with her instead and then she would get mad at me for not doing what she wanted and I was angry she was being so silly in my opinion.  She yelled, screamed and talked rude to me again and I was so sad because she doesn't act this way so I knew something was bugging her too but she wouldn't and/or couldn't talk or tell me what was going on so more frustration ensued.

When it was time for Logan to wake up, I went to get him and he clearly needed more sleep because he was not a happy little camper and only wanted me to hold him which never goes well when it's almost dinner and I still have to go grocery shopping before that or we won't have milk for the next day which would make all sad who want cereal, so it was a must!

  When I got Logan to be happy and in the car which was of course wasn't easy because in the mean time, Lennox ran out of the house and after a dog he had seen across the street which made my heart drop in fear he would get hurt.  Then after I get Lennox back in the house, I hear Blake crying because he is now hungry or poopy and then I watch Logan climb in my front seat of the car, turn on the lights and windshield wipers and then run out onto the grass that had just been mowed and fall down into it.  Before I can get to him, he gets in my front seat spreading grass all over which normally wouldn't bother me but we spent like 4 hours cleaning the van a few weekends ago.  Needless to say, we made it to the store, got our shopping done and the kids were actually really good while we were there but while checking out, Logan dropped his snacks I had brought to keep him busy all over the floor and postponed our leaving the store and causing quite the scene because he was crying saying, "my nacks!"  The triplets were great and helped me pick up the snacks actually but I did see Jax sneak one into his mouth off the disgustingly dirty floor - EW!

We got home, had to quickly make dinner, eat and still get into the tub so we are clean for church.  And oh..then I remembered or was reminded rather that we still hadn't gotten the kids their Frazils like I had promised - UGH!!  Under most circumstances, I would have just said, "sorry kids, we can't make it work."  But, I felt horrible about the day and the kind of mommy I had been to them, especially with Spence gone and honestly and selfishly wanted a Coke so we made the Frazils happen, ate dinner got baths and even talked to Spence before bed.

The kids and I talked about the day and we tried and promised to make today better.  I promised more patience and kindness and they promised better obedience.

And then came today...

Church at 9: so we all got up, ate breakfast, got the church bags ready, got dressed and actually made it to church right on time.  The triplets were AMAZING at church and did so great!  Logan was even fairly good considering he is a little bit of a spaz (that we all honestly love) but is a little tricky during sacrament meeting.  Blake was awesome and so good, thank goodness!

All kids went to their classes just great and happily.  Blake however, then decided during RS that he would be super loud...super cute but super loud.  So my moment of trying to feel the spirit and be lifted and filled for the week was in vain -ha-ha :)  Can't complain though, I love holding that beautiful little boy and making him smile.

We made our way home after church and on our way in the house, Rio hit Jaxon AGAIN!  I got angry, told her she was going to sit in time out, she told me "no" which is not allowed in those circumstances so more yelling and loud voices.  Then, when I finally got inside the house, I found my little mischievous Logan had gotten Lennox's food and dumped it into his water bowl which overflowed all over the floor.

Welcome home from church mommy!

Whew!

We had a great afternoon and night however.  Thanks Sky and kids and mom and dad for having a fun evening with us.

I truly love being a mom but some days I regret how I act, how I talk, how I teach and yet, I feel the promptings of the spirit telling me to do better and that my kids deserve better.  I am grateful for the gift of the Spirit, for the atonement of my Savior so I can repent and be forgiven for days like I have sometimes and for being able to see the good and the bad so we can all improve and remember that Families are Forever and remind us that we need to continue improving and learning each day to be more kind, be more patient and be more obedient.