Another blessing added to our home: It's a Boy!!

Well, this post is LONG overdue!! In December, Spence and I decided that we wanted to do IVF again and attempt to increase our family.  Well, I should say we thought about it many, many months before then but we attempted IVF in December.
On December 8th, we did the egg retrieval and then waited 5 days until the 13th to do the implanting/transfer.  Last time, we did a 3 day transfer and things went great but this time, our great doctor, Dr. M wanted to make sure that we didn't have triplets again :) so he decided the best thing for us to do was a day 5 transfer which typically presents with less risk for multiples and it is also recommended to only implant 2 and not 3 embryos.  It actually worked out perfect for us because we didn't have any but 2 embryos make it do day 5 so we were grateful for that blessing since I didn't want to have "leftover" embryos to freeze and have to emotionally deal with what to do next with them; I have ethical dilemmas over that still after all this time.

Anyway, on the 13th, our Dr implanted our two little embryos and we hoped for the best :)  The worst part of IVF is honestly, the 10 days or so after implanting because you just have to wait and wait and wait and play mind games after mind games of did it work or not and try and not let your body give you false hope by simple changes that occur.  Well, on the 23rd of December we got the call that I was pregnant!  I was so excited and amazed that we've been so lucky with IVF as so many other people are not - we feel very, very blessed.

The next step is to go in for an ultrasound and see how many took and if there are actual embryos in there - sometimes, because of all the hormones that you are required to take doing IVF, your body can trip up a pregnancy test and give you a false positive so the usound is the real test of whether or not it worked.  We went in for our first usound on January 11 and at that point they said that I was 5 weeks pregnant.  Spence and I went in and were shocked when we once again saw multiple sacs on the screen - but honestly both of us were very calm and actually very excited; we felt with 5 kids that our family would be complete.  Spence even had a dream that we were having twins; a boy and a girl so again we weren't too shocked to see the two tiny sacs.

Here are the two little ones at 5 weeks - crazy to see both of them and to hear actual heartbeats on them already - both heartbeats were really strong and around 150/min.  We left feeling grateful and blessed and just a little nervous about the future...

Soon after that usound, we had another one just two and a half weeks later on the 30th of January and we took the kids with us this time too since our usound tech wanted to meet them since she'd seen them from the very beginning :)

We got there and just expected to see the same thing we had a few weeks earlier; two healthy little embryos and two strong heartbeats.  We did not see that.  Instead, we saw one very active and bouncing baby and one sac with a little, tiny lump in the bottom.  I will never forget that moment as long as I live.  It completely broke my heart into tiny pieces.  It was difficult to see one moving so much and actually formed a bit and the other slumped into its tiny sac not moving at all.  Our little Baby A had no heartbeat anymore and only measured about 7 1/2 weeks instead of 9.  We must have lost it right just a few weeks after the first usound.

The top picture shows both sacs and embryos with our little one that didn't make it on the left and the other strong baby on the right.  The bottom pic is of our little baby boy just continuing to grow big and strong!  We're so grateful for you sweetie boy.

It has been very, very difficult for me emotionally this pregnancy because from the very beginning, I've been super paranoid.  I really didn't tell very many people at all this time and found it very difficult to talk about being pregnant at all for honestly, the first 15 or 16 weeks.  There were a lot of other changes as well like having to change OB's because of insurance and then only seeing the doctor starting at 13 or so weeks and then only once a month and only getting to have one usound the entire pregnancy.  I must have become a bit of a multiple snob and got used to having usound every 2 weeks :)  Just a very, very different experience and not an easy one to get used to; I have just been very paranoid and worried about this baby.  However... we did get to have our usound on April 16th and Spence and I went together to meet our new little baby.  It was so funny because one of the first pics we saw was of this baby with its leg over its head just like Jax had for so long!  So instantly, I thought, "oh, it's a boy; just like Jax."  We kept looking all around at all the baby's organs and things to make sure things were looking good and they were - all looked great!  We found out he was a boy and were very happy!  At first, I have to admit, I was a little bummed for our little Rio because I really wanted her to have a sister but after a few thoughts, I realized that a boy is definitely best for our family.  Our Rio as those of you that know her... is what you might call a bit of a DIVA!  She loves all the girly things and thinking about it, she may have found it quite difficult to share her special girl things :)  J/K - she would have been fine but we are so happy for another boy added to the family.  Above is our 3D pic of him with his little hands up by his face and his leg kicked over the top by his head - silly little boy! 

So here he is (and no, no name yet)...  what a cutie you are already!  Can't really tell what he may look like and we can't wait to meet him to find out since I don't think our trips look much alike so maybe this one will look like one of them.  Love you so much already sweetheart and so sorry that mommy has been a basket case for you; I'm getting better :)

I feel very bad for not taking any pics earlier than this one but here it is in all its glory - my 24 week pic!  And yes, those are horrible stretch marks and my belly button sticking out :(  - poor thing never quite went back in after the trips but o-well... look what we have because of it!